Beautiful Reality

I went to Wanderlust last weekend with a brilliant bunch of great people, including some big people in small bodies, (which is how I usually refer to children).

It’s a Mindfulness Triathlon which, instead of the usual swim/bike/run, was  5kms walk or run, just over an hour of yoga and meditation to finish.

Melbourne turned on a spectacular day and the walk along Beaconsfield Parade was a great opportunity to catch up on news & share stories. The big people in small bodies also enjoyed playing peek-a-boo from inside their prams.

Doing yoga with 2700 other people, all on our mats, ready to move in a conscious & joyful way had a profound impact on me. When the instructor pointed out that we were all here for a purpose, that we were all connected at that moment, I felt tears in my eyes.

Connection is more than just being with people, to feel connection even with yourself, you really need to pay attention.

I felt part of the bigger whole, I felt connected to each of the people around me, and it felt beautiful. There were people of all shapes, sizes and levels of flexibility who were doing their thing in the sunshine. This got me thinking later about what we think of as real, in terms of our health, fitness and body image.

What we see in the media isn’t real.
Hollywood & celebrities exist to pretend; their job is to sell stories, images and ideas that aren’t real for the purpose of marketing.

One way they do this is by marketing a sense of dissatisfaction with our own, not always glamourous, non-photo-shopped, messy, real lives.  There’s even a marketing term for this, called a ‘pain point’. Hit someone’s ‘pain point’, the theory goes, and they’ll buy what you’re selling as the solution to their problem.

The problem with this is when the marketing convinces you that you have the problem in the first place. Hands up who had heard of a thigh-gap in 2000? Hands down if you understand that it’s not an achievement.

I’m all for feeling your best and looking your best but not at the expense of your sense of self, not when your happiness depends on a number on a scale or on the tag of your clothing.

What about the sass in your step, the fire in your eyes, the spark in your soul? These are all so much more important that the size of your dress.

Tying self-worth to body image can be dangerous. If you’re eating fresh, healthy food, exercising 3-4 times a week, are active enough to keep up with your kids and live your great life, then your body is perfect as it is. 

You are amazing.

“It is only through extensive and continual conditioning that an intelligent human being comes to see herself as an ornament, whose first priority is the attainment of a slender body, rather than as a complete human being who has myriad other concerns and unlimited potential”

It was one of those weekends, you know the kind, where you have a whole lot of cool stuff planned with the kids and friends and it all just lines up beautifully.

Except it didn’t turn out that way.

Small Darling had a sore foot, so we missed my gorgeous artist friend’s stall at a night market. Instead we had our traditional Friday Dinner & Movie Night that we’d missed for a few weeks.

Lovely Partner planned on playing cards with friends on Saturday night and that fell through so we all headed into town to see the Infinity Swing and Noodle Night Markets at Fed Square. Also a lot of fun but I could tell LP was upset that his original plans didn’t work out.

There was some grumpy energy in the mix as people came to terms with not getting what they wanted and frustrations were close to the surface. 10 year old boys also seem to have little concept of people around them or consequences and I found myself in Grumpy Mummy Mode, saying to SD “That’s it, no dessert for you. You know better than that! What were you thinking?” (He was tipping water over the edge of a balcony where people could have walked through & been soaked).

Kids can be great at expressing how they feel and don’t always have the ability to regulate their emotions but then again, the same applies to us grown-ups too.

At one point in the evening I caught myself thinking “why did I bother? SD is behaving badly, LP doesn’t really want to be here” and I paused. I took a deep breath and realised I also had some unmet expectations about how this weekend was panning out.

I expected my child to be grateful for the excursion and my partner to be delighted that he got to spend the evening with me. Usually both of these things are true; my son often thanks me for the fun stuff we do together and my partner does enjoy spending time with me.

So none of us got exactly what we wanted or what we had planned for.

What we did get instead was an unexpected adventure together & we each learned more about ourselves & how we react when people or situations are not as we would have them be. That’s a weekend of winning in my book.

5 Super-Annoying Things About The Gym

(with thanks to our Guest Writer, Clara Richman for a-musing on her gym-experience :)

 

 

Ever since I was in high school and enrolled in a three-month sports training program at my local gym, I've been hooked on working out. For many, like myself, the gym is a personal safe-haven; a place where I can eliminate stress and a day's (sometimes weeks) worth of frustrations in a single lifting/cardio session. As an avid user of numerous gyms all over the world, there is a number of things that myself and many others find extremely annoying. Not all gyms are alike; but there are definitely some common problems that often prevent less-enthusiastic individuals than myself from going all together.

Here are a few things to avoid when shopping for a gym membership

that you will enjoy using in the long or short term.

1. Membership Hassles

Before signing up for a new gym, I like to shop around and compare prices

between my local gyms, and weigh the costs and benefits of each of their different membership plans. Unfortunately, this is usually never a straight-forward task. Gyms love to include things like enrollment fees, membership cancellation fees, first and last month's membership fees, “fees for being alive” fees—fees, fees, fees.

2. Pushy Sales Rep

What's worse, is that when you're signing up for a new gym, you have to go through a pushy sales rep who's always urging you on for a higher membership class, personal training sessions, performance products, or some other purchase that you weren't interested in to begin with. Many times, I've gone to a new gym that offered a free 3-day pass, or two-week membership—but in order to use it, you have to give this ungodly windshield-repair-guy-at-a-car wash salesman the time of day in order to use it. And if you show even a hint of interest while meeting with him, but don't yet sign up for the membership? He'll call and e-mail you three times per week for the rest of your life. Seriously, I'm still getting voicemails from Ross, the 'Member Specialist' from gyms like Lifetime Fitness

from over two years ago. It never ends.

3. The People

If you spend enough time anywhere, such as your work, school, or other hang-out, you'll begin to make certain observations of the people you like, and don't like. The gym is no exception. The Grunter, the Weight-Dropper, the Space Invader, the Show-Off, the Cell Phone Fiend, the Sweaty Non-Wiper, the Treadmill Stomper, the Lovey-Dovey Couple, the Chick Wearing Too Much Makeup, the Equipment Hog, the Smelly Guy, the Casanova, the Run-In Acquaintance Who Wants To Talk, the Unwanted Advice Giver, and The Guy Who's Just Sitting There Watching TV are all examples of the most horrible people at the gym.
 

4. Overcrowding

If you've been to a gym during “Happy Hour,” you know exactly what I'm talking about. The treadmills are all taken, and there's eight guys on one bench press. Fitness classes, too, can overflow in a heartbeat, with numerous middle-aged women who recently canceled their membership showing up 30 minutes early to place their yoga mats on the cardio room floor in order to claim their spot. Your 45-minute power workout turns into an hour and fifteen minutes of waiting for open equipment and waiting in line at the drinking fountain.
 

5. Inconvenient Bathroom Locations

Seriously- where is the bathrooms?! At almost every gym I've been to, bathrooms are always located about 5 miles away from the weight room. Many times while working out, I've decided to 'hold it' just to avoid the long trek down the stairs, around the hall, passed the 'kidz zone' daycare, and through the sauna doors. Gym owners- consider your patrons, and please install more bathrooms.

No matter what your qualms are with the gyms in your area, there are many positive points that can be found as well. When shopping for a gym, it's important to compare prices and offerings from each gym to see which one is the right fit for you in meeting your own fitness goals.


 Clara is from Minneapolis, MN, raised by parents at the opposite end of the education spectrum: her father, an elementary school principal; and her mother, a middle school substitute teacher. Now living in San Diego, Clara draws on that dichotomy when writing about education.
 

Why I Run

A concerned friend once asked me why I run and what I was running from.

I found this an odd question, full of (her) assumptions about my motivation.

At the time I was training for a mini-triathlon so for me it was more about what I was working towards.
The question didn’t gel with my sense of why I was running, but as with all good questions, it got me really thinking about what I get from running and why I keep doing it.

Our bodies are made to run; in fact you and I wouldn’t be here now unless someone way back in our gene pool was better than running than the person behind, or the animal in from of them; they either got away or caught the food.

Let me be clear, I don’t consider myself a “proper runner”. There are people who can run faster and further than I can.

I’ll get out and train for a specific event and sometimes mix up my training program with a quick couple of kilometres, but I don’t run several times a week with any regularity.

Having since completed more than a few mini-triathlons and other running events, I am far more aware of the internal benefits they give me.
I feel an incredible sense of calm before a race, none of the nervous anticipation I sometimes experience in the weeks leading up to an event.
On race day there are no butterflies in my stomach, no thoughts of “what if I can’t”, or of anything going wrong; there’s just me, calm and centred, knowing that I have prepared for what lies ahead, that I will do what I can do and get through this race.
I don’t always have a specific time goal in mind other than finishing and I’m usually quite conservative with my estimate of how long an event will take – the first time.
Then it’s a matter of working out my own level of challenge, and I'm happy when I exceed my own expectations.

Running serves a purpose that is less about the distance covered or the time taken, and more about shifting the focus to my body to clear the busyness from my mind, getting in touch with the rhythm of my breath and doing something I previously thought impossible.

Believing I can do it is important otherwise I would never even begin and preparation is key.

Training for any event means putting in the physical work and each event takes place foremost in the mind - that’s what gives up first, not the legs or lungs.

I finished the Sydney City To Surf a couple of weeks ago and race day was the first time I’ve ever run 14 kilometres. I didn’t run the whole way; I walked when I needed to.

When the going got tough, I checked in with myself to see if I needed to stop and walk or if I just wanted to; answering THAT question honestly, every time, is why I was so proud of myself when I crossed the line, not because of the time but because I knew I had run my best race.

Make Room for Joy

Life is busy.

We all have jobs, chores and things we need to do, so when do you make space in your life for what you love - the people, activities and things that bring you joy?

Do you know what and who they are?

When was the last time you felt joyful?

If these questions are difficult to answer, set aside some time to really think about the answers.

Start to make room in your life to allow the joy to happen.

Notice how you're feeling the next time you're with people you love, doing activities you enjoy or simply just relaxing in a peaceful environment.

Take a deep breath, slowly exhale and smile - find your joy more often.

You deserve it.

Have Fun - That's An Order!

Spending time with a good friend recently, we found ourselves laughing so hard that we couldn't speak, could barely breathe and had tears streaming down our faces - it was wonderful!

I realised I haven't laughed like this for such a long time and that I don't really think very much about scheduling "fun" into each day - this has to change.

Being busy taking care of other people can sometimes leave us with little time or energy to allow ourselves to have fun, but it is important that we remember what brings us pleasure and make time for it.

If you have small people in your life, learn from them; they remember what you've forgotten.

Kids know how to jam as much fun as they can into each day and really can make anything into a game, let them show you how you can laugh a little more and stress a little less.

Whether it's being around your favourite people, taking time out with a great book, wearing something sparkly to do the supermarket shopping, or spending time in nature, think about what it is for you and include more of it in your life each week.

So what's your fun-plan for this week?

Project YOU!

All of my wonderful clients are articulate, interesting, fabulous women who love life and have their individual passions.

Whether it's theater, shopping, family, tap-dancing, socialising with friends, Master Chef, or whatever you just love doing, it's time to put yourself in the picture and make your next project YOU.

You've all been training consistently for almost two months (give yourself credit for this), and have noticed changes in your energy levels, strength, flexibility & attitudes (more credit here).

Now that your training has become part of your life, you may already be planning the next stage of your health journey.... make yourself your new favourite project!

Just like any other event or project, work out where you want to end up, break up the steps into weekly & monthly goals and make them a priority in your life, the same way you have done with your training.

Make one change at a time, consolidate before moving on to the next one.
Remember that consistency beats intensity and believe that you really are worth it!

Time passes, it's what we do in that time that matters, so make sure you're using the time you have to create your best life (okay, now I sound like Oprah, but she's right ;)

Where will you be in 12 months time?

I can't wait to see your vision of YOU!

Can I say again how proud I am of all your efforts over the past couple of months.

You have made a commitment to your health and your Self that has amazing changes taking place in your mind, body and spirit; notice and enjoy the fruits of your good works!